What is Emotional Balance?
by Jelena Duma
January 15, 2011

All of us are in some way ruled by our emotions. Consider for instance a situation in which a co-worker, a driver in a traffic jam, or a person in the supermarket snaps at us and we feel unreasonably angry about it. Or we hear about the passing away of an old classmate or a friend and are overwhelmed with sadness. Or we come home after a long day at work and find that almost everything our family members do annoys us.

It may be even worse: being bulled in school, loss of a job, personal relationships and changes in our lives, such as marriage, divorce, or a loss of a loved one. All those events create powerful emotional energy: anger, rage, sadness, grief, pain, fear, anxiety etc. What do we do?

Some people choose not to feel emotions and become numb. Some people become too overwhelmed by them so they stop functioning. Some people choose to vent and often have outbursts, creating difficult relationships with their friends and families. Some change their moods frequently (going up and down many times a day), and it makes them and people close to them very frustrated.

But the common denominator in all this is our choice. We actually choose how we react even though we are not consciously aware of it. Those unconscious choices create our habits and behaviours that are driven by our emotions. To become emotionally balanced is to understand our emotions and become more conscious of our reactions. Or to simply, become aware.

Steps to achieve the state of emotional balance:

Responsibility

We take responsibility for our emotions and feelings. Waiting for a situation to change so that our misery is taken away could leave us waiting forever. When we take responsibility we become in charge of ourselves and we take back our power. We consciously choose to transform and open the door to a new life.

Self Observance

Emotions are our energy drivers. They fuel our actions. If we numb fear, anger and pain, we also numb love, joy and happiness. It is the same energy just translated differently by our mind. To get in touch with our emotions we can choose to neutrally observe what arises in the moment. The more we feel, the more we’ll be able to understand our emotional energy and the structure of our emotional neurology.

Creative Expression

When we identify our strongest emotion, instead of allowing it to overwhelm us, we can choose to express it. Any medium is good for expression. We can paint, play or compose music, dance, act, write, draw, sculpt, design… Anything that doesn’t require a structure or rule will allow a free flow of energy. By expressing that free flow, we shift to the present moment, where everything just is: no worries, no thoughts, no stress. We simply accept what we are.

Sharing

Sharing our emotions and our creative expressions forms intimacy, unbreakable relationships and connects us on a deeper level to our loved ones. Even if we are single we can choose to share with friends, relatives, plants or animals, spirit guides, Universe or God. It is important to have someone to validate our feelings. Having a good support system when we are in need, allows us to feel safe and protected.

Release

Lastly, we need to let our emotions go. Emotional release could be anything, we can cry, laugh, run, exercise, scream – whatever relieves you but doesn’t harm anyone else. We can create a ritual to burn emotions in the fire, to flush them with water, to release them on the wind or to let them fly up on a balloon. As emotions dissolve in space we can celebrate - we can have a massage, go for a nice dinner or do something we have never done before.

The more we connect to ourselves the more we know that “Whatever bad happens, shall pass. Whatever good happens, shall pass.” And the key in balance is to be aware of both.